If my typical weekend short story is Flash Fiction, you could call this one Lightning Fiction. Chuck’s latest challenge is the 100 Word Story. If you read this site at all, you know that I have a tendency not to scrimp on my words, so saying a lot with a little is a stretch for me. (For comparison, my introduction is longer than the story itself, at about 180 words). Nonetheless, I like what I’ve come up with.
Maybe I’ve got hair on the brain. Mine is fleeing my face as fast as its follicles will carry it; my wife just got hers cut. Add to that the (unrelated) fact that with our first child we went through a lengthy hospital stay and our second will be arriving any day here… I couldn’t shake off these things clinging to my brain. If you’re curious, this is not autobiographical, though my wife and I were certainly adjacent to a lot of stories like this one.
At any rate, here are 100 words exactly, title not included. Don’t read them all in one place.
Shorn
Mackenzie disappeared into the treatment wing, escorted by a perky nurse whose name Eloise had immediately forgotten. Philip offered all the support he could: a sympathetic grimace and a dutiful squeeze of her hand. She made for the parking lot, not bothering to wipe the tears from her eyes.
**
In the salon, Eloise sat down in the chair and told her stylist what she wanted.
“You’re sure?”
All Eloise could think of were Mackenzie’s frightened eyes, her sobs as the clumps of hair had fallen out. She bit her lip, nodded, and smiled as the clippers buzzed to life.
Having done something similar myself for a beloved family member, I think you captured item a thoughtful way in the allotted words.
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Using my phone is not the best way to comment. It should say you captured it in a thoughtful way. Lol
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Thanks, I had to leave a lot unsaid here, glad it still comes across.
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Very, very well done.
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Thanks!
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That was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. Beautifully done.
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Thanks!
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