(I’m just kidding. The title of this post is a lie. If I were any sort of an authority on Things to Avoid or How to Avoid Them, I wouldn’t have impaled my foot on a porch in January.)
It’s only right that I should make a post about routines and how good they are and how much they contribute to the flow of all of my creative juices (especially the tasty ones) at the outset of a week which has effectively shattered my routine into itty-bitty pieces, stomped on the pieces, dug the pieces out of its grubby shoes, and fed them through a wood chipper. The resultant dust could be used, I’m told, to craft a glitter-bomb which might then be fired at the idiot who put my lunch in the freezer the other day at work, ruining my fruit and by extension my afternoon writing session. Wait, that idiot was me. DONDRAPER YOU, PAST ME.
/Sidenote: I’ve heard of frozen bananas being a delightful treat. Where did I hear this, and what lamebrain banana salesperson perpetrated this myth? The banana I pulled from the freezer went from a dong-shaped brick to a soggy, mushy turdlet in about three minutes flat. It was in no way appetizing, let alone delightful. /Sidenote over.