The Half-Measure is that thing that you do when you know you need to do a thing, but part of you still wants to not have to do the thing, so you do what you have to but you leave the door open for still not doing the thing. It’s a nonsensical in-between space between making a commitment and wimping out.
The problem with half measures, of course, is that they intrinsically mean you didn’t do the thing that you said you were going to do. You left a kill switch on it. You didn’t really pull the trigger. You didn’t commit. You said you did, maybe you acted like you did, but you didn’t.
I’m guilty of a lot of half-measures in my life, but there comes a point when you are no longer a child and you have to leave childish things behind.
I’m not going to go into detail here about specifics. This one’s a little bit personal. Why, then, post about it at all? Because I want it on the record, I want some accountability, I need to purge it. And yeah, I know, it’s a little bit narcissistic and infuriating for a reader of the blog to stumble on this and not be treated to the juicy details. And yeah, I’ve been known to scorn that sort of thing in the past, and I probably will in the future. But I’m not taking this to Twitter or facebook, I’m not seeking comments and ego-stroking, I’m not looking for vindication or sympathy. Lately, at the very least, Writing makes it real, and I need this to be crystal clear to myself. This blarg is where I purge the thoughts that are clogging the old melon, and this particular clog is one that needs to go.
No more half-measures.
Apologies for the detour. Regularly scheduled programming will resume.