Search Term Funnies


…And on an unrelated and entirely lighthearted note, WordPress dishes up a delightful little gem.

It gives me a tickle to see all the things that people search to arrive at this site. Some are perfectly ordinary. Some are inherently bizarre.

And some just make me laugh.

Today’s winner?

“stuff”

Somebody searched, simply, “stuff”, and ended up here.

Somehow, that makes me smile.

Turkey-Drunk Takeover


I’m guest-posting over at Linda G. Hill‘s place this week.

Specifically, I’m hosting her Stream-of-Consciousness Saturday this week; an event I regularly partake in on Saturdays. Of course, I’ll still be partaking, but at double the fun, since the prompt this week is mine, all mine!

*cue evil laugh*

Anyway, if you like what you read here, you might want to head over there and check it out. The prompt is live, too, if you want to jump in and take part.

Just tell them Pav sent you.

Except that when you get there, you’ll find me in the driver’s seat there as well. So you’d be telling me that I sent you.

But, y’know, tell me anyway.

I was going to post something funnier, but my heart just isn’t in it tonight, watching the shootout at a Planned Parenthood, of all things. Jesus Christ.

Anyway, happy Black Friday.

wtf wordpress?


Why, when wordpress redesigns their drafting page, do they always get rid of the word counter down at the bottom? And why does the drafting box always shrink?

The word counter is a thing I’m constantly concerned with (because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but like faculty meetings at my school, I tend to run a little bit long). Especially for my fiction, which I’m working on getting tighter, but for my everyday posts, I’m making an effort to keep things concise. Wasted words are wasted time, and I don’t like wasting my time or anybody’s who reads the site. Without that counter, I can feel myself (already even within this post, and the parentheticals aren’t helping) adding words in one after another just by dint of the fact that nobody’s there to stop me, and no word counter is there to shame me.

And the layout. I swear, the webpage is using about 50% of my monitor’s horizontal space to display the text box, with great blank swathes down either side of the page, like they mowed the center of the yard down nice and neat but left the sides on “jungle” setting. Add in the toolbar creeping from the top and I can see my words taking up about 33% of the available space.

33% of the space, when the words are all I care about.

Did I accidentally tweak a setting? Or has wordpress just “fixed” my “problems” for me?

The Weekly Re-Motivator: Visionary


So the prompt for the week is the root: vis.

Now, I could interpret it in any number of ways, not least of which might be a fanfic about Elvis, but I just can’t kick this one impression from my mind: the word visionary. A lot of things get that label these days, probably because we no longer have any use for any modifier that is less than the superlative. (Things can’t, and shouldn’t, just be good. They have to be legendary, or epic, or un-fargoing-believable. We have built up a tolerance, through internet extravagance and the squabble for views and clicks, for anything short of eleven.)

What’s a visionary? It’s more than just a person who sees something where everybody else sees nothing. The visionary sees the world as it is and forces the rest of us to see it as it could be. Which is tied in to the reasons I write, actually: see my next post for more on that.

Photo by mind_scratch at Flickr.
Photo by mind_scratch at Flickr.

Make no mistake, the world is amazing, and our position in it is even more amazing still. The fact that we exist in this universe alone is nothing short of astonishing, but the fact that we lead existences where we can relax and have hobbies and find love and get fat and sleep in as opposed to, you know, living or dying based on luck and the migratory patterns of predators transcends that. Life is awesome.

But it could always be better, couldn’t it?

That’s the domain of the visionary. Looking at a world that is already filled with good things and saying “let’s make it even better with flying cars and automated computer systems and remote controls so that you don’t even have to get up off the couch. Think about that. When television was first thought of, there was no remote. The mere idea of moving pictures, dancing and warbling in your living room, was so earth-shattering that nobody’s first thought was, yeah, it’s nice, BUT… But then, fast forward a few years, and somebody thinks to himself, I love television, but I hate getting up to change the channel. What if there was a way to switch the magical moving pictures without getting my donk out of this chair? And within a few years, WE HAVE IT. Not only do we have it, but now, it’s so much a part of the television-watching experience that my wife and I will wander around the house for hours on end looking for the remote, because you can’t even watch TV without it any more. Seriously. The newest set-top boxes have no buttons on their frontsides  for changing channels; if you lose the remote, you’re hosed.

And I was planning to write about how the line between a visionary and a lunatic is a thin one, thinner perhaps than the shoes that angels use for dancing on the heads of pins. I think, however, it’s a lot more productive to dwell on the visionary who takes the imaginary pictures in his head and uses them to change the world rather than the lunatic who sees the visions and mistakes them for the world which exists. Except that it’s hard to argue that all the great minds, all the visionaries who have changed the world for better or for worse, were also probably a little bit crazy. But being crazy is easy. Becoming a visionary takes work.

I mean, that’s what we’re all doing, isn’t it? On some level? Taking the visions we have for our futures and working to make them a little bit more real?

I’m particularly fascinated with the idea because, as you may have noticed if this isn’t your first foray to my midden-heap of writerly self-doubt and strife, I’m working on a science fiction novel that necessitates a world fundamentally different from the one we inhabit. Day in and day out I’m struggling with the vision for this different world, figuring out how to monkey-wrestle it into something that will be palatable to a critical audience. Without getting my face bitten off.

This weekly Re-Motivational post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Every Saturday, I use LindaGHill‘s prompt to refocus my efforts and evaluate my process, sometimes with productive results.

About Those Changes…


They’re in progress. Wife got tired of me waffling over it and went ahead and bought me a website. So changes are in progress. You may already have noticed that if you’re following me, you’ve landed not at pavorisms, but at AccidentallyInspired.com. There will be a bit of dust in the air as I make some adjustments, knock down walls, rewire the plumbing, and replumb the wiring. Try not to breathe too much of it in.

Or maybe do. It just might give you superpowers.

Other changes are in the works, but the archives are here.

Smells like home.

And baby poop.