A giant inflatable Lego Batman was assaulting the city.

Stomping on cars, picking people up and depositing them (unharmed, he’s not a monster) several blocks away, dragging his rough rubber exterior across the facades of buildings and making a nuisance of himself. When he got to MOMA, it had gone far enough. (I don’t know what MOMA looks like or whether the cityscape this was happening in was anything remotely like where you would find MOMA, but this was a dream, so … you know, logic has no place.)

Luckily, I was there, and I was ready to leap into action. Because I was Batman. Too. Yes, I was Batman too, except I was the real Batman, and I was also Will Smith. So my wife and I (yes, my real wife, because real Batman needs a Real Wife) hopped in the Batmobile which was really just a fancy black Lincoln — real smooth, you know, clean lines, tasteful, refined, not flashy like those other Batmobiles have to be — and, well, getting to the site of the inflatable Lego Batman was a problem because it was during rush hour traffic, and you know how it can be, so it took us a few minutes.

Also, the Batmobile flew, which was fortunate, because the Batmobile had no tires. Somebody had stolen them or something, I dunno.

Anyway, we got to the scene of the crime where inflatable Lego Batman was dragging his body across the front of MOMA and really causing a heck of an inconvenience to everybody and the first thing I did was throw a car at him, which because he’s inflatable and made of rubber didn’t work out so hot; it just kinda came right back at me. What also came back at me was Lego Batman’s mom (looked kinda like Susan Sarandon) with a claim for damages against her son. Yeah, turns out this whole thing was an insurance scam somehow, but screw that lady, I don’t have time for your lawsuits, I have to save MOMA, so I ran over to inflatable Lego Batman with a well-sharpened Batarang (are Batarangs sharp? I dunno. Mine was), sliced inflatable Lego Batman’s feet wide open and he deflated like an old waterbed.

Uhh…. dreams are weird.

Interpret that one for me.

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