De-Synced

Weekends just aren’t recharging my batteries like they used to.

Is that 40, or is that COVID?

I guess there’s no reason it can’t be both.

I just feel so tired.

And it’s only Tuesday.

I did run this morning, so there’s that.

And I wrote more on the play as well, so there’s that too.

But man. Weariness in the bones.

I know I’m not the only one, but it feels that way sometimes. The world is so determined to be back to normal even though it clearly isn’t normal again yet, not by any stretch.

I worked the early morning shift for a few years, starting my shift at 4 and 5 in the morning, and the oddest thing about that job was the way it made me feel out of phase with the rest of the world. I’d go to sleep at 7 or 8 PM to wake up by 3, arriving at work in the dead of night, leaving to go home just when the rest of the world was hitting its stride before lunchtime.

(Among other things, this job taught me the skill that all Dads learn somewhere along the line — the ability to fall asleep at almost any time or any place when the situation allows for it. Yes, napping is a skill. No, it cannot be taught, only honed through necessity and sheer force of will.)

This — these COVID times — feels like that, only instead of being out of sync chronologically with everybody else, I feel out of sync emotionally, or maybe psychologically. But just like being de-synced chronologically, it has me tired all the time.

And man, I try to be upbeat and think about solutions to problems when I write here but … the solutions just aren’t coming for this one.

Oh well. Another sip of tea, a few more words on the page, a few more miles to run in the morning.

So it goes.

About Pavowski

I am a teacher, runner, father, and husband. I am an author-in-progress. I know just enough about a lot of things to get me into a lot of trouble. View all posts by Pavowski

2 responses to “De-Synced

  • Manarelle

    Just my 2 cents here, and if I’m out of line, please tell me, but it could also have something to do with the last 4 years of being assaulted daily by horrible things. Yes, Covid is yet another horrible thing that is dragging on with no end in sight and there is nothing that we can do except armor up and be vigilant; but don’t discount the past three and a half years of nonstop horrible things that we can’t do anything about (except vote). Burnout is real.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pavowski

      Yes, that’s behind everything too… I just try not to dwell on it because it’s so infuriating and I feel so powerless in the face of it.

      Except for now! Yes, it’s time to vote!

      Like

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