A Quickie on the Snooze Button

There’s a beautiful line in High Fidelity:

“Did I listen to pop music because I was depressed? Or was I depressed because I listened to pop music?”

To dumbify it a little bit, it becomes:

Does the music we listen to set the mood or does our mood dictate the music we pick?

And to generalize it a bit further, it becomes:

Does our mood dictate our circumstances, or do our circumstances dictate our mood?

I like to think that mood dictates circumstances: that we can choose to think and feel a certain way and thus to take control over how things affect us and how we move through the world. That seems to be mostly true, most of the time.

But it’s not entirely true. Sometimes you can’t put a smile on your face no matter how much you tune up your facial muscles. Sometimes you can’t force yourself to tough it out when you’re totally tapped out.

These thoughts fought for dominance this morning as I pressed the snooze alarm instead of getting out of bed to go on my regular 3-mile run. Days when I run are better days. I’m clearer, calmer, better able to deal with whatever comes. Days I don’t? Less so. So to choose not to run — when I’m awake on time, especially, and just feel like sleeping in — is to choose against the rest of my day.

I know this. And yet I snoozed. Because while I recognize that not running is a mistake, I also know that forcing the effort when you’re tired and beaten down beyond reason and it’s only three weeks into the school year is a mistake.

Was I unjustly and wrongly lazy? Or was I righteously claiming a few precious minutes of recuperation?

Did I let myself snooze because I was too tired to run? Or was I too tired to run because I let myself snooze?

Smash Bill Murray GIF by Groundhog Day

About Pavowski

I am a teacher, runner, father, and husband. I am an author-in-progress. I know just enough about a lot of things to get me into a lot of trouble. View all posts by Pavowski

4 responses to “A Quickie on the Snooze Button

  • mage1999

    No one can choose for us. When we find the need to justify, it means that we didn’t choose what is best for us. We don’t need to justify to anybody, only to us. We can’t lie to ourselves.
    What ever you choose, always accept that you did and go on to make the best out of it.
    Regret will burn out energy that you could use for something better.
    Thanks a lot for sharing this with us.
    Please visit my blog.
    https://frommagemind.com/
    Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

  • bryantduhon

    The siren call of the snooze button is strong. I’ve begun to simply set my awake time for when I know I’m actually going to get up so as not to feel guilty for “not getting up on time,” which is stupid since I work at home as a freelance writer and sometime Uber Eats driver and have no set hours.

    This is a very much chicken/egg thing though. I do find that most days I can get myself into a better mood, either through will or music or a walk or lifting or whatever. Some days though, just suck, and I just allow myself to wallow for a bit knowing a better day is coming tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pavowski

      I wrestle with that, too, the wallowing. When I’m in full wallow, I tell myself it feels good, just for a little while, to soak in it. But at the same time, I know the wallowing does nothing but allow me to stay feeling crummy. Does it actually help? I dunno.

      Like

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