Hooray for Time

Scientists have determined that the exact measurement of time at the molecular level is impossible.

In other words, time is complete and absolute bunk.

At no time is this more evident than Daylight Savings Time, an outdated and archaic practice that arbitrarily picks a day in the fall and stretches it by an hour, then arbitrarily picks another day in spring and shrinks it by an hour.

Now, a lot of people go about gleefully talking about the extra hour of sleep they get when we “fall back”, which is fine and dandy. But those of with kids know the truth.

DST means NOTHING.

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The kids are still going to wake up when their rhythm tells them to wake up, regardless of any “conditioning” or “preparing” you might have done.

My wife and I thought we were clever. We had slowly been pushing the sprouts’ bedtimes back since about a month ago, so that they could go to bed at the same “time” regardless of the numbers on the clock face.

HA.

Last night was Halloween, so any sort of regular sleep schedule was out. And this morning sprout #1 woke up to poop, which he cannot do by himself yet even though the attending adult is nothing more than a cheerleader and heinie-wiper. Oh, did I mention that he was up thirty minutes before his regular time, which was a full hour and a half ahead of the clock time?

Not only did we not gain time, we actually lost time on this exchange, which has me superjazzed about “giving the hour back” in Spring, let me tell you.

Meanwhile, it’s currently seven PM and it feels like midnight.

Thanks, Obama.

Seriously, DST is a joke. You want a non-arse-over-elbows, earth-specific time anomaly to get psyched about? Try the leap-second.

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About Pavowski

I am a teacher, runner, father, and husband. I am an author-in-progress. I know just enough about a lot of things to get me into a lot of trouble. View all posts by Pavowski

11 responses to “Hooray for Time

  • kirizar

    I laughed as I cried in agreement. It was a cruel joke to pair daylight savings with Halloween. I can’t recall if that is what happens every year, or if we just got ‘lucky’ this time. But, daylight savings is like a slow tide that washes in the cold and blustery fall/winter season and then draws back into itself again once spring makes it’s arrival. That said, I kvetch like someone has stolen a year of my life when I have to ‘spring forward’ every year. Only the prospect of jonquils and butterflies redeems the vernal equinox.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pavowski

      It definitely doesn’t happen every year. If memory serves, they always put DST on a weekend — you know, so as not to screw up our schedules too badly — so it was something of a double whammy for sure. And you’re absolutely right — “gaining” the hour in fall is vastly outmatched by the “loss” in the spring.

      Liked by 1 person

  • myzania3350

    😀
    We have three timezones in Australia. I’m on the East Coast, so it’s Australian Eastern Standard Time from April to October, then Daylight Savings Time (AEDT) from the first weekend of October to the first weekend (I think) of April. The clocks go forward an hour in October and back one in April. It means summer to me!

    Liked by 2 people

    • kirizar

      You know, that makes a lot more sense. I’d much rather lose an hour of winter and gain an hour of summer. Who planned this setup anyway? (If the movie, National Treasure isn’t making stuff up, I believe Benjamin Franklin is to blame.)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Pavowski

      I was sitting here trying to figure out why on earth you would move back when the nights get longer and forward when they get shorter, but then I remembered, duh, you’re in the southern hemisphere. Stupid northern hemisphere arbitrary global positioning bias.

      Liked by 1 person

      • myzania3350

        Giggle. Tbh, I had to do the same calculation when reading the post. I have a Southern Hemisphere bias…pity is that *most* things (e.g. events like Christmas involving songs…) have that bias.

        Like

      • myzania3350

        Ack, I meant most have a *Northern Hemisphere* bias. Blame exam brain for that one.

        Like

      • kirizar

        Does this mean in the Southern Hemisphere they are dreaming of a Green Christmas and July has snow days? My mind is now officially blown, if that is true. (Like what? Would the have different months of the year just to match the appropriate climate season? Come on, brain. Don’t make me look stupid on the internet.)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Pavowski

        I don’t know that Australia in particular ever gets snow, but yeah, the seasons are reversed in the southern hemisphere. Gives “Christmas in July” a twist, dunnit?

        Liked by 1 person

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