Daily Archives: June 5, 2016

Nutritional (?) Content


Sooooo… I’ve been on something of a junior crusade against sugar lately. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that my 4-year old had three cavities filled not to very long ago … meh. Reasons aren’t important. I’m giving labels a little more of a look than I used to.

So he asked for waffles this morning (just now, in fact), and, well, you can’t have waffles without syrup. That’d be like driving to Florida with the windows up and the radio off. But wait — syrup is basically JUST sugar, isn’t it? And because of the sugar junior crusade, I peeked at the label:

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Problem is, food labels are largely meaningless. Right side: chemicals schmemicals, blah blah blah. High Fructose Corn Syrup is basically the devil’s own heartsblood, yada yada. Whatever. We all eat chemicals, that ain’t my concern (this week).

Sugar: 43 grams. Well, dammit, we’re in America, what’s a gram, anyway? They might as well have said 1/18th the volume of your ear canal. (Herein lies the problem for Americans especially when it comes to this sugar thing: we don’t know what the hell grams are. Turns out the maximum recommended amount of sugar for a grown dude like me is between 40-50 grams. THE MORE YOU KNOW.)

Then, hmm. 210 calories? Sharknado, that’s high, innit? But oh, wait. Serving size: 1/4 cup.

1/4 cup?? Seriously? Who, outside of legitimately handicapped people with no motor control or 4-year-olds out of their parents’ view uses 1/4 cup of syrup for anything?

Ugh. Serving sizes. Grams. Chemicals. This parenting gig … who has the time to look out for everything you’re supposed to look out for?


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